When I die young
by ShyLily
Summary: Wormtail was discovered before Harry's seventh birthday and Sirius is released with only one thing on his mind, his little Prongslet. But the abuse at the Dursley's was worse than anyone ever imagined. How do you tell a child that he will never be seven year old? *Character Death*OneShot*


**So, my first story. I've been browsing Fanfiction for a few months now, it's becoming an addiction I think. I check my favorite fandom every morning and evening. And every second I'm free in between.**

 **I'm always looking for great stories, Harry Potter, Criminal Minds, and HP cross overs with Avengers, NCIS, Supernatural, Narnia, Lord of the Rings are just a few I look at. If you got a great story in one of those categories, please let me know :)**

 **Oh, almost forgot, I don't own anything. DISCLAIMER!**

Sirius Orion Black couldn't stop pacing, too much had happened these last few hours and it was all catching up with the twenty-seven year old, ex-convict.

It all started with his release form prison after seven year old Fred (or George) Weasley had gotten a hold of his twelve year old brother Percy and accidentally changed his pet into a man. Arthur wasn't even sure if it was accidental since the twins took after their uncles who as Aurors always managed to accidentally expose death eaters.

It didn't matter how it happened, it only mattered that it did happen. A little later Sirius had his trail and was released.

The first thing Sirius did after leaving the court room was walking up to Department of magical Children and Youth Services to magically claim custody of his godson after finding out that Dumbledore was the young boy's magical guardian. Since he was falsely imprisoned for almost six years without even a trail, there wasn't much that the ministry wouldn't give the Lord Black.

A quick stop at Grimmauld place for a change of clothing and a shower, Sirius made his way to Surrey where the door was smashed in his face the moment he said he came for Harry.

"There is here no-one by that name!" yelled an obese man, spitting saliva in Sirius face as he spoke. "LEAVE!"

Sirius checked with a spell and yes, there was a Harry James Potter inside. "Reducto." Growled the wizard, blasting the door out of his way. The man and woman were cowering in the corner of the living room when he stepped in. "Now that I got your attention," said Sirius twirling his wand in his fingers. He had missed the small stick so much, it felt like missing a limb. "Where is my godson?"

Lily's sister, Petunia he thought her name was, pointed at the cupboard under the stairs and confused opened Sirius the door. All the blood rushed from his face when he saw a pale, unconscious boy, laying on top of blood stained blankets. He immediately recognized him, it was an exact younger copy of his brother in all but blood.

Without hesitating lifted Sirius the small broken frame in his arms and apparated to St. Murgo's, where he was now pacing. Slowly others started to join him. It started with Remus and then Minerva, Kingsley, Arabella, Hagrid and even Dumbledore entered, but he ignored them in favor of focusing on his own nerves. They didn't deserve to be here. They shouldn't be here. They never looked for Harry. They never came for him. They left them with those monsters.

"Lord Black?" a soft voice called out. Sirius looked at the Healer. He recognized her as Violet Greengrass, a Slytherin who had graduated a few years above him.

"How is he? Can I take him home?" Sirius asked nervous. "Is he all better now? Did you heal him?"

"I'm sorry." She bowed her head so nobody could see the tears but it was too late, Sirius had already seen them slipping down her cheek. "We did everything we could…"

Suddenly the ground hit his knees, or the other way around. Tears started to gather in his own eyes and it was getting harder to breath. He couldn't breath. "He's gone?" he gasped. "My prongslet? He's..."

"Not yet." Violet said softly moving over to him, placing a delicate hand on the man's shoulder. "But it won't be long. I'm sorry."

Another hand rested on his shoulder from behind him but Sirius pulled away. It was their fault, they left him. It was his fault, he shouldn't have gone after Peter. Everyone was to blame, except little innocent Harry. Little Harry who would never grow up.

"He's been asking for you." Violet said softly. "He wants to meet the man who saved him and took him away from that place."

"Does he know?" Remus' soft voice was slightly broken. "Does he know he's going… going to…"

"He hasn't been awake for long." Said the Healer carefully. "I've never had to tell… one so young. I don't know… I'm afraid he won't understand."

"I will explain." Sirius shaky got back on his feet. "I'm his godfather, I have to be the one who will tell him."

Dumbledore sighed. "Sirius…"

"I trusted you to take care of him." Sirius said with a venomous voice. "Lily and James trusted us to watch over their son. Leave, I don't need you here. Go back to what you've been doing for six years while I was locked up and Harry abused." And with that, the grieving man left the room.

Violet brought him to a room and Sirius hesitantly entered.

His godson looked way to small in that large bed. Almost as white as the sheets below him. His lips had a blue tint as he drew shuddering breaths. It remembered Sirius of Azkaban, some prisoners sounded like that during the nights.

Avada-Kedavra green eyes locked with Sirius' grey-blue ones. "You… saves… me…"

Sirius couldn't confirm that, Harry wasn't saved, he won't ever be saved. "I was the one who took you away from the Dursleys." was what he said instead. "Do you know who I am?"

"No…" sighed Harry, the small hand instinctively reaching out to get comfort. Sirius gasped it, like it was a life line. The hand was cold as ice, and the animagus tried to warm it.

"I am Sirius Black, or Padfoot." Sirius said. "I'm your godfather."

"God… father?"

"I've been trying to get to you for a long time." Sirius said, rubbing the hand warm. "You see, your daddy and I, we were best friends and I promised to him that if anything happened to your mommy and daddy, I would take care of you for them."

"Where… were… you?" Harry's question wasn't accusing, only curious but it still hit Sirius' heart.

"I was in prison, someone did something bad and said that I did it, they believed him." Sirius explained. "As soon as they found out that he lied, I was released and I immediately came to find you."

"Padfoot… are...you… family?" gasped Harry, there was so much hope in his voice and Sirius couldn't help but tear up

"Yes, you and me, we're family kiddo."

"I…'m…tired…" mumbled Harry. "Tell…about…parents?"

"Off course." Sirius moved onto the bed and shifted the small body until Harry's head was rested on his chest, listening to the beating of Sirius' heart. "Your daddy was a really brave man, and your mommy was the smartest woman of her generation. Did you know magic is real?" Sirius looked down and felt more than saw Harry's head move. "Your mommy, daddy and I went to the same magic school where we learned how to ride brooms and brew potions, use wands." Sirius pulled his wand. "Expecto Patronum." He whispered and looked at the dog that came out, ready to charge at any danger. When it found none, it moved to the bed and nuzzled Harry. "Your dad, he was the best in transfiguration and nobody could beat your mother in charms…"

****HP****

Sirius held Harry as the six year old slept. It wasn't fair, his birthday was in two weeks but as he listened to Violet's explanation, Harry wouldn't make it. Vernon had tried to beat the magic out of Harry after he accidentally turned his teachers hair blue. Harry's magical core was damaged, and even if he survived, he would never have control over his magic. This would mean that Harry would be forced to stay in the long term ward. It had happened with muggleborns before but not in a long time. "Sometimes it is better to let them go Sirius." Said Violet while the ex-convict clenched Harry to his chest. "He will find his way to Lily and James, you know that."

"How… how long do you think that I'll have with him?" Sirius asked.

"Two days? Three at the most. He's a fighter, he doesn't let go easily." Violet gave a small smile. "He should have passed weeks ago, it seems like he was waiting for something. Or rather someone."

Sirius looked up with a slight smile. "You think he waited for me?"

"Children have this instinct. Like they know what will happen." Violet said. "I like to think that Harry waited until you came."

"I would like to think that too."

****HP****

Sirius woke up by the wiggling body. "Hey Prongslet." He whispered.

"Pad…foot… hunger?" gasped the six year old.

"I will order us some breakfast." Sirius promised, placing Harry back on the bed. "How do you feel?"

"Tired…"

"I know." A minute after ordering, a nurse entered with a plate. Carefully helped Sirius Harry with the oatmeal and afterwards with cleaning up. The ex prisoner sat down and held Harry close, he had to tell the young boy now before he lost the courage to ever do so. "Harry, your mommy and daddy are coming for you very soon. And I don't want you to be scared to go with them because they love you so much and I'm sure they missed you."

"Mom… Dad… are… coming?" asked Harry confused.

"Yes they are."

"How…will…I… know… they… my…mom…dad?" asked Harry.

Sirius paled. "You don't know what they look like?" he asked softly and Harry shook his head. "I will get you a picture."

Suddenly there was panic in the green eyes. "Do…n't… leave… scared…"

"I'm not going anywhere." Promised Sirius immediately sitting back down. "I just want to send a message. Expecto Patronum." The dog sat in front of him and Sirius placed his wand on its head. "Remus, I need pictures of Lily and James, as many as you can find." Sirius said sending the patronus on its way. "See I'm not going anywhere. The patroni will do it for me."

Two shacking arms went up in and request to be held and Sirius swiftly answered, holding his light godson in his arms.

"I… see… sea… please…" Harry begged and it took a few seconds for Sirius to understand what he was saying.

"You want to see the ocean?" asked Sirius and Harry nodded. He transfigured a piece of parchment to a quilt decorated with a dog, doe, deer and wolf and wrapped Harry in it in an attempt to keep his godson warm.

Holding Harry in his arms, he left the hospital room.

Near the exit he was stopped by Violet. "Sirius, Harry needs to stay here."

"To do what?" asked Sirius. "He's dying and there is nothing you can do for him, Harry wants to see the ocean and I will be damned before I refuse his last request. I'll promise he'll be back in a fewhours."

"Make sure he eats something light in two hours and gets enough fluids." Violet added a monitoring spell. "This will warn me if he's in any distress."

"Thank you." Sirius said and left the hospital.

****HP****

The private beach house of the noble Blacks was located on a secret location, not even the family knew where it was. The only way to reach it was the family ring and holding the person who wore the ring.

Sirius sat on the sand with Harry between his legs. Harry, still bundled in the blanket, looked wide eyed around him, a smile prominent on his face. The house-elves delivered food and drinks whenever Sirius called out.

"Do you know the story of Peter Pan?" Sirius asked and Harry shook his head. With one call to the house-elves, Sirius had the wizarding version of Peter pan. The godfather read the book for Harry with a soothing voice and Harry managed to stay awake throughout the whole book, but only barely.

Carefully Sirius rose up, trying his best to keep Harry asleep.

Back in Murgo's, Harry was placed on the bed. Violet ran a few tests over the sleeping child and smiled. "Your little trip has done him good." Said the healer. "His heart is a little stronger, and his breathing is less raged. You may bought yourself a little more time with him."

"Really?" asked Sirius unbelieving.

"Perhaps." Violet let out a sigh. "But it's only time Sirius, sooner or later it will run out."

Sirius silently let the tears roll over his cheeks as he sat next to his prongslet and ran his hand through the messy dark hairs. In his sleep reached Harry out keeping a firm hold on his godfather's thumb.

A soft knock on the door brought Sirius out of his musings. Quickly scooped the animagus Harry up in his arms, afraid that someone would take him away, Violet never knocked. "Who's there?"

Remus entered the room silently, holding a photo album. "How… how is he?"

"Tired, scared." Sirius hugged Harry closer. "Are those…"

"Pictures from old times, why do you need them now?" Remus asked, he took a seat at Sirius' abandoned chair now that his friend was on the bed.

"I told him James and Lily are coming for him." Sighed Sirius opening the album. "He was scared that he wouldn't know what they looked like. Those monsters never showed him a picture of his own parents."

"He looks so much like James." Remus reached out as if he wanted to touch the child.

"His eyes are all Lily." A small smile played Sirius lips, but it was broken when one of the tears still dripping down his cheek fell on Harry's hand. "It's so unfair."

"It is." Whispered Remus. "I should have… Albus promised that he was safe. He assured me but I should have…"

"Yeah you should." Sirius said coldly, making Remus wince. "Just like I shouldn't have gone after Peter. We are all to blame, all except Harry."

"Pad…foot." Harry's emerald eyes slowly opened looking at his godfather. "It…s…cold."

Remus immediately grabbed the quilt and handed it to Sirius who bundled the child in. "Is that better little prongs?" Sirius asked and Harry hummed content, his head falling back to Sirius chest listening to the strong heartbeat.

"Who… you?" asked Harry looking at Remus.

"I'm Remus Lupin, you used to call me uncle Moony." Remus said. "I was a friend of your parents."

"You… prison… like… pad…foot?"

It was an innocent question but Remus winced. "No Harry, I… I am sorry. I didn't know."

Harry looked up to Sirius, confused.

"Remus brought pictures." Said the animagus, smoothly changing the subject. "You want to see?" He held his godson rested against his chest and opened the album. The first picture was the marauders and the Gryffindor ladies during Halloween. "Look, this is James and that is Lily in their second year. James was already falling in love with your mother and she would hex him every time he was annoying. Which was a lot."

Sirius turned the page, smiling at the next picture. James was proudly holding his newly born son. "Look, that's you and your dad. He was so proud when you were born, already falling in love with you even when you were all wrinkly and red."

"I remember James showing you off." Remus smiled. "He would bring you every time when we came together, every meeting."

"And look, that's you at your first birthday." Sirius pointed at the picture where Lily was holding Harry on her lap in front of a cake. "Your mommy made that one herself. She never cooked but Lily wanted to make your first birthday to be special, homemade cake at all. Minerva brought Scottish pie which you loved more than your mother's. Lily was quite put out by it."

Harry reached out a shaking hand and touched his mother's face.

They continued telling stories about the pictures through dinner until Harry fell asleep.

"Sirius…"

"Perhaps it's time for you to go now." Mumbled Sirius, he moved from the bed and laid Harry down, tucking the blanket around the small frame.

"Sirius, Please." Remus sighed. "Promise me you won't do anything stupid."

"The last time I did something stupid it ended up with me in Azkaban and Harry with those monsters." Sirius said with a cold voice. "I won't do anything stupid ever again, I learned my lesson."

"The others, they are waiting in the waiting room." Remus looked at the bed. "They want to say goodbye and their apologies."

"Prongslet won't understand." Said Sirius shaking his head. "I don't…"

"Just let them in now, while he sleeps." Begged Remus. "Let us say our goodbyes, we love him too."

"You left him!" Sirius forcefully whispered. "I thought about Harry every minute in my cell. I wondered whether he loved playing on the toy broom I gave him, I wondered if he displayed accidental magic when he was denied a cookie because it would spoil his dinner. I worried about the tears that would surely fall when he skinned his knees while running through the garden. You want to know why I was thinking about that. Because I was so certain you were watching over him, that Minerva would keep her promise to Lily and that Kingsley was a man of his word when he promised James. But I was wrong."

"And we feel terrible…"

"You know who feels terrible?" interrupted Sirius. "Harry, because not being able to breath sucks. Because dying sucks."

"I know." Tears started to fall from Remus eyes. "Don't you think I know? Don't you think I know about the tiny coffin they are going to put him in because I never checked on him, not even once in almost six year? Don't you think I dream about Lily's eyes who look at me with betrayal because she was there for me but no-one was there for her son? Don't you think I hear James speeches about Marauders look out for each other? And I know it's not fair. He's too young, and it isn't fair and I know that. But you're not the only one who's been suffering Padfoot. I just want a chance to say I'm sorry to Harry, and I get that he won't understand. But let me say it to him in his sleep, it won't make this better but I want to at least tell him I'm sorry, I'm so sorry."

Sirius looked surprised at his friend before schooling himself. "Five minutes each. Nothing more, and if he wakes up, you alert me immediately."

"I… yes off course… thank you." Remus said as Sirius bowed over his godson to kiss his forehead.

"Don't you dare to wake him." Warned Sirius shortly before he left the room.

****HP****

Sirius was leaning against the door-frame, glaring at the people waiting to get their turn to say their goodbyes.

"Sirius, my boy," started Albus but the marauder wouldn't let him finish.

"You have nothing to say that I want to hear." He said with a glare. "I don't care for your excuses, nor anything else. You just sit there quiet until it's your turn."

Moody waited a minute before he tried his turn. "Your auror position is open for you when you're ready." The elder Auror said. "After you're done mourning…"

"I said no talking." Sirius said forcefully. "And do you really believe I want to work for the government after what they did to me? No, I have enough money to live three life times, I'm not going back. It was all James idea, anyway."

"What are you going to do?" Minerva asked.

Sirius leveled his glare at her. "I don't have to tell you."

"Now, my boy…"

The, possibly loud, answer from Sirius was stopped by Remus coming out of the room and walking away in silence, his shoulders slumped and tears, once again running down his face. "The next can go in." Sirius said, hesitating to leave the place next to the door but also desiring to go after Remus. He might be angry at his friend, he would never abandon Remus in a state like that.

"Go lad." Moody said. "I keep a watch on the kiddo."

Sirius sprinted after Remus, finding the werewolf seated on the bench. He said nothing as he took a seat next to him, just held out his hand which Remus took.

****HP****

Harry didn't wake up anytime that night, but his breathing went more ragged while his heart was slowing down more and more.

"It won't be long now." Violet whispered, combing her long fingers through Harry's hair. "I can give him something that will wake him up one last time so you can say your goodbyes but that's the only thing I can do at this point."

"Do it." Croaked Sirius, he had send the others home, not wanting anyone near as he said his private farewell.

"Try to keep him lying down." Violet held out a vial, "He won't be in pain if he's lying down."

"Is… is this okay?" Sirius laid down next to his godson and laid the tiny head to rest on his arm in an attempt to keep his godson close. It was just like holding Harry shortly after he'd been born. "I won't hurt him if he's laid down like this?"

"No, he won't be in pain." Promised the healer tipping the vial into Harry's mouth.

Emerald eyes blinked and Violet silently left, closing the door behind her.

"Hey kiddo." Sirius whispered, his free hand tracing the pale cheek. "You've been asleep for a very long time, I was getting worried."

"Tired." It was hard to make out the words Harry was trying to say now, but Sirius had always understand Harry, even as a baby.

"Harry?" Sirius said softly making the child turn his head to look at him. "I just wanted to tell you that I understand if you go. It's okay if you have to leave me. It's okay if you want to stop fighting and just go… to sleep."

"'m… tired." Sighed Harry, weakly snuggling closer. "I… no...wanna… leave… you."

"I won't be far behind you," promised Sirius, "And your mommy and daddy will be there, and you can play, run around, prank. I bet you even can do magic there."

"Where… mom… dad?"

"Do you remember when I told you about Peter Pan?" Sirius asked softly and Harry nodded, even if it was barely noticeable. "Well your mommy and daddy are in Neverland where children never have to grow up and there will be candy for every meal because your teeth can't rot and you can play all day without getting tired."

"Does… have… beach?" asked Harry. "I… like… beach."

"Yes off course." Sirius watery smiled. "Miles and miles long. You can go for walks or play in the ocean. Your mommy and daddy will teach you how to swim."

"Can… tell… about… beach?" Harry's eyes closed.

"Do you remember how it smelled on the beach?" Sirius asked softly. "It smells crisp, the ocean makes it happen you know? Walking along the sand gently sweeps over my toes, and the sand is warm but I like it tickling between my toes. The clouds above are small in different shapes like a bunny or turtle. I can taste the salt water on my lips, from the wind. And when the sun goes down, the water, the ocean turns this beautiful orange-red…"

Sirius listened as Harry's breathing evened out during the story until if finally stopped. Tears fall as he carefully scooped the lax body up in his arms and cradled it against his chest. Only when he is certain that Harry's heart had stopped, and would never start again, he laid down on the bed. Harry came to rest on his chest, with his right ear placed on the broken beating heart.

The godfather let himself fill with self-hate, for letting Peter be the secret keeper, for abandoning Harry, for everything he had done wrong to the kid and took a deep breath. Raising his wand, Sirius placed it at his temple and spoke the words that needed to be filled with hate for the person your pointing your wand at to work and whispered the two words that would free him.

"Avada Kedavra."

* * *

****HP****

* * *

"PADFOOT!" a voice, filled with energy called out and Sirius felt himself be woken up by this.

He was lying in sand and when he curiously sat up, he almost immediately fell back when an almost naked body collapsed in his arms.

"Padfoot! You're here too!"

Looking down, all he could see were raven black hairs that tickled his nose.

"Can we go swimming now? Can you teach me?"

"Harry?"

The small boy pulled lose and beamed at him. He was dressed in only swimming trunks which had little snitches moving over them. "Look, I'm not tired anymore."

"No you're not." Laughed Sirius pulling Harry back in his arms. "You're not."

"So can we go swimming now?"

Suddenly Sirius saw his clothing melt away until he was dressed only in long swim shorts. The scars and Tattoo's that once covered his torso were gone and he felt better than ever before. "Off course we can go swimming."

"Mommy! Sirius is going to teach me how to swim!" Harry yelled looking at something behind his godfather.

Sirius almost snapped his neck trying to turn around until a smile broke out on his face. "Lily, James."

"Hey Sirius." Lily said softly, she was wearing a light blue summer dress.

James grinned, he too was dressed in swimming shorts. "We missed you."

"The truth is, unless you let go, unless you forgive yourself, unless you forgive the situation, unless you realize that the situation is over, you cannot move forward."

* * *

 **So what do you think? Leave a Review behind and let me know about any great stories you might have/find :)**

 **Lily**


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